By Sarah Nicastro, Founder and Editor in Chief, Future of Field Service

My undergraduate degree is in psychology – it’s a field I’ve always found interesting and an area of study that, while I decided to go on and get my MBA rather than pursuing it further, provides knowledge that can be applied in countless areas. I’ve found that the corporate world is ripe with opportunities to leverage an understanding of psychology.

In addition to the conceptual understanding I gained through my studies, however, I’ve also spent my fair share of time applying concepts of psychology to my own life as I’ve worked with different modalities to navigate the effects of childhood trauma. After becoming a mom, I learned about “rupture and repair.”

The National Library of Medicine says: “Rupture and repair are key ingredients to connection. When ruptures in relationships occur, which they will, it is important to revisit the situation to work on restoring safety, regulation, attunement, and understanding. Through engaging in this process and providing consistent secure base and safe haven supports, conflicts have the opportunity to heal…Repeated rupture without repair can lead to mistrust, cognitive distortions, resentment, and emotional stunting.”

Mastering Repair Changes Relationships

If I put this simply in my parenting context, since I didn’t have this modeled well for me, I had to learn that parents do cause rupture – it’s human. Parents have moments of impatience, parents raise their voices, parents respond out of hurt or anger in a way that is less than considerate. Of course, we want these moments to be as few and far between as possible, but what’s crucial is how we repair – what we do next after that rupture occurs.

As mental health writer & illustrator Lindsay Braman says, “Good attachments take work, and one of the hardest parts of building and maintaining satisfying and supportive relationships is repairing after rupture (i.e., conflict). It’s so difficult, and conflict is so often avoided, that many of us have never experienced really good repair – or the way that it can deepen and strengthen our connection and trust with another person. Rupture is inevitable. Conflicts, disagreements, and hurt happen in relationships. Repair doesn’t necessarily come naturally. It’s hard to admit when we’re wrong or when conflict occurs. And it takes work! It’s easier to “just move on” or act like it didn’t happen – to play it safe. But that’s not how healthy relationships grow and deepen. Avoiding conflict results in shallow and ultimately unsatisfying relationships.”

Service Will Go Awry – It’s What Happens Next That Matters Most

This concept applies to customer service, too. In fact, one of our Stand Out 50 leaders Adam Gloss, COO of Impel, shared a story on LinkedIn over the weekend that illustrates the importance of repair in service.

Adam discusses two companies that had major systems outages this past week, Amazon Web Services (AWS) and Alaska Airlines. He was impacted by both but shared his disappointment in how Alaska Airlines handled its issues.

“AWS’ failure created widespread impacts but they owned it, were fast to fix them, and were (relatively) transparent to their customers. Alaska Airlines had their SECOND failure of IT systems this year, both times grounding hundreds of flights and rippling through their system for days. While grounding was the right initial response (safety first), the fact that it happened twice in core business systems, in a matter of months, is a signal of real problems. Being one of those impacted, communication with me was neither swift, nor thorough,” Adam shares. “While I got home safely (primary concern), I lost a full 24 hours getting there. For this, Alaska Airlines offered me a $150 flight credit [my account’s wallet has been full of these credits this year]. When you fail at your core function (getting people from one place to another safely and on time), there is a secondary expectation that you need to fix it fast, be transparent and make it right for them. Alaska Airlines and AWS both failed this week, but Alaska Airlines failed worse and apparently didn’t learn from the first time it happened this year. Here’s hoping they learn the second time and that they don’t strike out. It is cheaper and easier to keep customers than to get new ones.”

So what can a service organization take from this? There are a few key points. First, rupture will happen – it is inevitable. While making the utmost effort to provide flawless service makes sense, if you are ill-prepared for when (not if) things go wrong, you don’t have a holistic strategy. Second, if rupture is followed by good repair, it can actually be an opportunity for service providers to grow closer to customers. Reasonable customers know that 100% seamlessness is unrealistic, too – they are less apt to expect perfection than they are to expect you to handle issues swiftly and competently (aka repair) when things go awry.

Repair is a Process, Not a Performance

Finally, you should know that a good repair isn’t rocket science – it’s a few simple steps, executed authentically. Dr. Ammara Khalid, M.A, Psy.D, Founder & Owner of RIA Psychological Services, shares the perspective of how she works with clients in her practice. “I remind clients that repair is more than just saying ‘I’m sorry’ and moving on. Repair is a process, not a performance. Also, repair means healing and healing, as we know, is not instantaneous.”

She explains the Attachment Injury Repair Model she uses with clients in session:

1. Create space for the “injured partner” to identify and express hurt feelings, to the extent that they feel truly heard;
2. Provide an opportunity for the “injuring partner” to express remorse in a genuine way;
3. Develop an understanding as to how the injury could have happened in the first place.

We can easily rewrite these for the service scenario:

1. Create space for the customer to express their feelings of frustration, disappointment, etc. – practice active listening and apply empathy
2. Express remorse in a genuine way – and offer any compensation/offer if applicable
3. Communicate an understanding of how the issue happened – and what your specific actions are to ensure it doesn’t happen again (or to minimize the likelihood it’ll happen again)

Do you have an example of a service rupture followed by excellent repair? If so, I’d love to hear it! Email me anytime.