By Sarah Nicastro, Founder and Editor in Chief, Future of Field Service
On August 9th, after 91 years full of life, Dame Stephanie “Steve” Shirley passed away. The life Dame Stephanie led was not only inspiring but forged the future for all women in tech. I learned of Dame Stephanie just this past January, hearing Jake Humphrey of the High Performance podcast speak about her at an IFS event (their interview with her is a wonderful watch). What he shared moved me to order her memoir, Let It Go, on the spot. Reading her story left me moved, awed, and inspired – so much so that I wanted to honor her by sharing some of what stood out to me with you.
Dame Stephanie was a child refugee of the Holocaust – one of thousands of Jewish children fleeing the Nazis that came to Britain as part of the Kindertransport (a British rescue effort in the months preceding World War 2 ). At just five years old, she arrived in the UK and met her foster family. “I was five years old. My nine-year-old sister and I had been travelling for more than two days, on a grim, tearful journey from Vienna. We knew scarcely half a dozen words of English between us, and I, at least, had only the vaguest idea of where we were going and why,” she says in Let It Go. As she describes the impact her early start had on her, she goes on to say, “Without my being fully aware of what was going on or why, a large number of good-natured strangers took it upon themselves to save my life. It took me some years to digest this fact and its implications. But once I had, a simple resolution took root deep in my heart: I had to make sure that mine was a life that had been worth saving.”
I won’t use this space to attempt to retell her entire story; not only could I never do it justice, but it is well worth your time to read Let It Go yourself. But I’ll share just enough to illustrate that it’s evident how seriously she took her resolution. As a student, she showed an interest and promise in math that wasn’t “of the time,” and followed this passion ruthlessly until she fell in love with computers.
As a young adult, Stephanie continues to unfold her education and professional journey while in parallel grappling with the psychological impact of the early experiences of her life. All the while, with grit, she vied for roles that women typically wouldn’t/never had and she succeeds in breaking barriers. She says in Let It Go, “Perhaps my fractured upbringing had given me a sense that, if I wanted to make anything of my life, I needed to take control of it myself. It doesn’t surprise me at all, in retrospect, that some people saw me as pushy. A kinder analysis would be to say that, like all refugees, I had been forced to develop a strong sense of independence.”
Forging a Future for Women in Tech
At age 29, after earning her Master’s degree and marrying her husband, Derek, Stephanie decides to start her own software company. She says in Let It Go, “While I could hardly have been less qualified for the task, I did have the crucial asset of unlimited enthusiasm.” Her company, Freelance Programmers, and son, Giles, were born around the same time. It was shortly thereafter she adopted the moniker “Steve,” a suggestion from her husband since she was likely to get a better response to business outreach if people didn’t realize they were communicating with a woman.
Freelance Programmers (which was later known as FI Group and later still Xansa) was designed around providing jobs to women with children. Dame Stephanie pioneered remote work and flexible working practices, believing firmly that women not only have a place in IT, but don’t need to conform to “standard practices” (often impossible for mothers, especially in the 1960s) to add value or succeed.
Like many entrepreneurs, Dame Stephanie faced tumultuous times with Freelance Programmers but, like she did in all things, persevered. Over time, the company grew to employ 8,500 people and was ultimately valued at almost $3 billion.
As that journey was unfolding, so was Dame Stephanie’s journey of motherhood. Her son, Giles, was diagnosed with severe autism around age 3. She poured herself into understanding his diagnosis, determining how best to meet his needs, and finding him proper care. Sadly, Giles passed away at age 35. Throughout his life and beyond, Dame Stephanie championed and supported related causes, including being an early member of the National Autistic Society and funding many autism projects through her charity, the Shirley Foundation.
In fact, Philanthropy became a huge aspect of Dame Stephanie’s legacy. According to her website, “Dame Stephanie’s life has been dedicated to IT and autism, so it’s in these two specific areas that she chooses to invest her philanthropic energies. She has given away the majority of her wealth, nearly £70 million in total, causing her to be the first person to drop out of the Sunday Times Rich List as a result of her philanthropy.”
This short synopsis is a mere glimpse into her truly amazing story – if you’ve never read her book, Let It Go, I urge you to do so. Her willingness and ability to offer such self-reflection as she documents the different phases of her life, her wise words of advice, her at times unfathomable strength, all make not only a compelling read, but one that will leave a lasting impression on you.
Lessons from Let It Go
Here are a few of my personal favorite quotes from the book:
- On selling service/power of listening: “The idea of a service industry – which is what we were – barely existed in those days…Jack Bungard taught me many things, the most important of which was how to sell. He taught me to rein back my instinctive desire to show off my insight and technical expertise and, instead, to listen.”
- On flexible work: “We paid people for the work they accomplished rather than the hours they put in. Compared with a conventional company, we were treading our freelancers like adults: trusting them, as intelligent, motivated people, to make the best use of the time available to them in order to achieve the goals that had been set.”
- On innovation: “I suspect, however, that the most important factor that shaped Freelance Programmers in its early years was, simply, my naivety. Deep down, I still didn’t know what I was doing. Not knowing what the rules were, I was free to innovate – as, indeed, was everyone else involved.”
- On outside-in: “Because I was talking the clients’ language rather than ours, it formed me to see things from their point of view – something that the IT industry is notoriously bad at doing.”
- On surrender: “I have struggled all my life with an instinct to hang on to the things that matter most to me, to control and protect them myself. Yet the art of surrender is, I am convinced, a key to many kinds of success- and fulfillment. And many lives are limited by a failure to master it.”
- On leadership: “The older I get the clearer it becomes to me that empowerment is the key to business success...It is people, not assets, that make the modern business world go round. It is their creative drive that sparks new enterprise and innovation, their professionalism and dedication that ensures quality, their energy that makes things happen – and, always, it is teamwork that carries forward the vision. Yes, by all means lead from the front, if that is your style, but always remember that leadership is nothing unless those who are led give the best of themselves. Like love, leadership is, at its best, about giving, not taking.”
If I were able, I’d say: Thank you, Dame Stephanie, for your inspiration. For the hard work you tirelessly took on so that all the women who’ve come after you can walk a different path. For your generous giving. May you rest in peace knowing you most certainly lived the definition of a life worth saving.